I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
