real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
