So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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