he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
