Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
