This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
