just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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