Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize