too bad you live with your parents still
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
