i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
