she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
