so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
