I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
