We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
