Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
