So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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