Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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