shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
