Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
