roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
