I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
