she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
