Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
