We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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