that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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