If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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