a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
