Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
