i think my mom watched the whole time
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
