Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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