Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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