I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
