No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
