booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
