Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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