We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
