I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
