we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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