No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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