let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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