You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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