I want to have your abortion
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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