i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
