so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
