pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
