Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
