Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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