I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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