I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
