Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
