please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
