Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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