Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
