i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
