ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
