I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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