I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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