I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize