just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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