did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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