i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
