His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
