Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
