im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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