The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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